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While I was preparing for the big day, many people asked me if I was going to get a confinement nanny. Quite early on, we decided against getting a confinement nanny. Perhaps it was the skeptic in me. There had been a spate of news articles of accidental deaths of infants under the care of confinement nannies which really spooked me. A few of my acquaintances also shared negative experiences ranging from rigid routines (not being allowed to wash hair or drink plain water) to lackadaisical care of the baby (baby dressed too warmly, developed bad diaper rash, rough handling). Even though we were going to be clueless first time parents, we still did not want to bear the stress of dealing with a stranger who may have a different approach or style in caring for the baby than us.
Though I did not have a confinement nanny, I still had plenty of help. We hired a helper a month before I delivered and it was one of the best decisions we made (we lucked out with a capable and nice helper). My husband and I struggled to keep the house clean and tidy even in our pre-baby days. With a baby around and the added chores that will arise, we knew that we won’t be able to keep the house spick and span. Having a domestic helper took off the burden of minding the house so that we can be fully focused on our baby.
Image by sketchify from Canva
Other than having a helper, grandparents on both sides were ready to help. They purchased groceries from the wet market and prepared meals for me (and also taught my helper how to cook some confinement dishes). In the first month, my MIL would visit during the day and watch the baby for a couple of hours so that I could nap. This gave me some much-needed rest since I do the night shifts.
In the confinement period, most of the baby-caring was done by my husband and I. Sure, everything was new to us and there was so much that we didn’t know. But with time, practice, and being more attuned to bub’s cues, we managed to figure out most things along the way. If there was anything we didn’t know how to handle, we simply googled or asked family and friends with young babies for tips!
So is having a confinement nanny necessary? Well, I think the key point is that all first-time parents definitely need additional help. It’d be very hard to go at it alone, and trying to do so may just make new parents more stressed and anxious. For me, the additional support I got was from my family and helper. For others, it might be engaging a confinement nanny, a meal delivery service, or a super hands-on grandparent. Whichever route you choose, it should be one that enables you to spend more time with your child.


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