"Did you sun the baby?", my husband asked me one morning, about a week after my child was born. Immediately I felt my pulse quicken, my body flushed, and tears welling in my eyes. No, I hadn't. I completely forgot. A crushing sense of guilt and dismay washed over me. I made a beeline for my bedroom, and my husband obviously alarmed, rushed after me.
My child had mild physiological jaundice and besides feeding her sufficiently, we were supposed to put her by the window in the morning for a healthy dose of sunlight. However, that morning I was exceptionally tired. I had very little sleep from a night of great difficulty feeding the baby, settling her to sleep, and expressing breast milk. The fatigue from a lack of sleep, coupled with brain fog and how ill-adapt I was at feeding the baby had left me feeling at my wit's end that morning. The realisation that I forgot to sun her was my breaking point.
The case of the baby blues
In the first 2-3 weeks postpartum, I battled these bouts of overwhelming anxiety and helplessness. In those moments, I felt alone, burdened, insufficient, and low all at once. I began to doubt if I could ever be a good mother. However, as I became more attuned to reading my baby's cues, knowing how to handle her, and establishing adequate milk supply, I was more confident and less frustrated. The random crying episodes stopped by around three weeks and for the first time I could truly appreciate enjoy the time spent with my baby, even when she was fussy. Looking back now, this was the case of the baby blues. Read more about the symptoms of baby blues here:
In the first 2-3 weeks postpartum, I battled these bouts of overwhelming anxiety and helplessness. In those moments, I felt alone, burdened, insufficient, and low all at once. I began to doubt if I could ever be a good mother. However, as I became more attuned to reading my baby's cues, knowing how to handle her, and establishing adequate milk supply, I was more confident and less frustrated. The random crying episodes stopped by around three weeks and for the first time I could truly appreciate enjoy the time spent with my baby, even when she was fussy. Looking back now, this was the case of the baby blues. Read more about the symptoms of baby blues here:
Postpartum depression
My symptoms resolved on their own by 3 weeks. The symptoms of baby blues and post partum depression largely overlap, but in the latter are more intense, last longer, and have a more profound effect on one’s ability to carry out daily tasks or care for the baby. Some mummies may even have suicidal ideation.
Read: ACOG and HealthHub faq ls on baby blues and postpartum depression:
What helped me cope with the baby blues:
1. My family's support. Even though my husband had nearly no paternal leave, he’d chip in to help with diaper changes, bottle feeding, buying necessities, and other small tasks. He’d also frequently ask after me and remind me that I shouldn’t take it upon myself to shoulder all the baby responsibilities.
1. My family's support. Even though my husband had nearly no paternal leave, he’d chip in to help with diaper changes, bottle feeding, buying necessities, and other small tasks. He’d also frequently ask after me and remind me that I shouldn’t take it upon myself to shoulder all the baby responsibilities.
2. Sleeping when I can. As I have a helper and my mother in law would visit in the day, both of them watched the baby for a few hours in the day while I squeezed in a much-needed nap.
3. Eating food that I enjoyed and having some me time. I looked forward to eating some of my favourite food and snacks and found them to be great mood boosters. A colleague gifted me some lactation bakes which i absolutely loved! Being able to chill and watch Netflix alone sometimes was also a nice respite.
4. Speaking to other mummies. It was sooo nice to speak to family and friends who were also new mothers. They really understood what I was going through and I learnt lots of handy tips on breastfeeding, childcaring, and postpartum healing!
5. My faith. I took great comfort in being able to pray whenever I had a difficult time. My church friends also regularly checked in and prayed for me, which really moved me.
With mental health all the rage in our post pandemic world, conversations surrounding postpartum depression are much more open.
If you (or you know someone) suspect you have postpartum depression, seek help! Inform your doctor so that you can be referred to a counsellor, support group, or psychologist/ psychiatrist. Meanwhile, activate your support tribe of family members and friends who can help you!
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